Resilience: “I didn’t know I was that strong!”

On March 3rd last year, my husband and I returned from a well-deserved and long overdue (10 years) trip away without children. The next day, after he returned to Nova Scotia to complete a work project, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. What a difference a day makes!

The next 9 months was a rush of appointments, surgery, chemotherapy, several hospitalizations, radiation, and, finally, back to work full time.

During those 9 months, I was surprised by my reaction and overwhelming sense of thankfulness and positivity. I could not have imagined that I would feel that way. Those who know me well know how sensitive I am, and I would have imagined myself as being a real “bawl-baby” throughout the ordeal. Of course, I had my moments but, in the grand scheme of things, I moved through the stages smoothly, feeling very strong.

So … what was it that fed that attitude?

The only thing life promises is that we will have challenges. Some lives and lifestyles deal with more challenges than others. For myself, the road has been bumpy, and during those times I sought and found the helpfulness of the good people around me. Their knowledge, wisdom, practical advice, and, at times, tenderness contributed to my management of life’s difficulties.

Over the course of time, it has become my way of developing my resilience.

Resilience is a big, important word. Resilient people are not born that way. It is a learned characteristic—a process of becoming. The military lifestyle has its demands, and those who have lived it for a period of time have learned some strategies that have nurtured the building of this important quality.

The MFRC has developed programs to help military families increase their capacity to manage this lifestyle and to foster their own resilience.

In our newsletter over the next three months, I will be highlighting one of those programs. The Emotional Cycle of Deployment addresses the common feelings and reactions to deployment throughout the process of getting ready to go, the time of living apart, and re-integration of the family following the separation.

Sign up to our newsletter—there’s a sign-up box on the sidebar of our website .. just over there —->

Think of those times when you managed what you didn’t think you could do. Were your resilient? Did you, like me, say “I didn’t know I was that strong”? What got you through it? We’d love for you to share your experience with us by commenting below.

This post was written by Program Coordinator, Bernie Mullin-Splude