School might be winding down, but this is an extremely busy time for our Island military families.
Civilians are quite often surprised when they learn how active PEI military members are. We actually hear quite a bit, “PEI has a military?” which is understandable since our province doesn’t have a military base.
Despite no longer having a base, members in the three PEI military units are quite active year-round. However, PEI has a higher-than-average number of reservist members, and our reservists are particularly busy in the summer months.
Many training opportunities and courses are run in the summer. These courses happen on military bases across the country, so quite a few PEI reservists pack up their bags and head off Island for the summer. Some teach in Gagetown, New Brunswick, others take courses in Aldershot, Nova Scotia … still others take specialty training in Borden (Ontario), Wainwright (Alberta), and other bases across the country.
Those who are posted to Nova Scotia or New Brunswick might be able to come back to the Island on weekends, but some are not so lucky, due to training schedules.
This leaves many family members on the Island feeling their absence during a time that is supposed to be relaxing … fun … and spent with family.
If you’re dealing with a loved one away this summer, here are a few things you can do to make life easier
- Lower expectations. It’s okay if the house isn’t as clean as usual. Or if you serve scrambled eggs for supper (hey, breakfast for dinner is fun!). Or if you go 2 weeks in between mowing the lawn instead of every week. If you’re a household where there are usually two adults pitching in, you’re not going to be able to do everything yourself. Don’t burn yourself out trying.
- Take time for you. Whether this be finding time for a jog, having a much-needed massage, or getting together with some friends for a glass of wine, make sure you find some time for just you. Not you plus the kids. Or you and work. You’re going to be busy this summer—you’ll be able to cope much easier if you schedule some relaxation time in.
- Get help. Back to our point about 2 adults vs. 1 running your home … it’s okay to get help. Summer is the perfect time to hire a teenager to mow your lawn. Or walk the dog. Sure, you could do it yourself, but if you can get help with some tasks, it’ll make others more manageable.
- Remember, it is summer. Just because your significant other might not be here to enjoy summertime activities doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the fun. PEI really does come alive in the summer—don’t miss out. Enjoy those beach days. Head to COWS. Take in a community festival. Yes, your routine has changed, but not everything has to change (this is especially important if you have children).
How to help a family dealing with a temporary absence of a loved one
- Offer to babysit. If your friend has children and doesn’t have access to regular childcare, watching the children for an hour or two is one of the best shows of support you could make. Maybe your friend would prefer to get groceries without bringing the children along, or perhaps attending an exercise class would make the world of difference. Helping your friend have some needed child-free time will be very appreciated.
- Invite your friend out. Social isolation is common when a person’s significant other is away—especially if there are children in the family. While your friend has a lot on his/her plate, it is absolutely vital that your friend find time for social activities. Allowing him or her to be with other adults and just get out of the house provides needed perspective and is good for the mental health!
- Ask how things are. Your friend is bound to be busy. You may feel like you are interfering and interrupting by calling, but it is important to reach out. Your friend needs to know you care. You are not imposing by asking how things are. And, please, do keep asking—things can change from week to week, and your phone call may just help your friend to forge on that day.
- Take charge of a small task. People often want to know how to help and will tell friends in this situation, “call if you need anything!” The problem with this generous offer is that it’s too broad, and people who feel in over their head are not likely to reach out. Instead, why not bring your friend supper? Or hire a sitter for a much needed night at the movies? Or mow the lawn? Doing something concrete is extremely helpful and will be very much appreciated.
While many people slow down during these summer months, it is important to realize that many in our Island military community experience a faster pace of life with added challenges and stresses.
To those in this situation, we’re here for you! Keep an eye out for the various events we’ll be attending because we’d love to see you and hear how you’re doing.
If you’re part of a military family, how do you cope with extended absences? Comment below!